Don’t want to run. Stumbling around in the dark because I’ve lost my fleece, everything is blurry in the low glow coming from the hall, I’ll have to run without it.
Fleece aside everything else is perfect, apart from my head. This is going to be hard, I feel unfit, I feel slow, I’m convinced that I’m knackered, negative after negative. I start the run hoping to chase down the zen like state I had at the end of the last run, into the woods the trees rustle and creak, “there is trouble in the forest” starts playing on a loop in my head, the bass melody bouncing along.
It doesn’t work, the zen state escapes me, I have to come up with a plan a decision to either repeat the last route or change it up, if so where to go, too many thoughts and I’m making a drama out of it. Where the hell did a Rush track come from anyway?, it’s been years since I last played any.
I add on a loop of the town centre to try and calm down, to just listen to my feet, my heartbeat, my breathing but nothing works. I return home downbeat, no running nirvana for me today, no calm tranquil mind powered by an endorphin high, just ragged disjointed chaotic mind.
Coffee delivers the caffeine flood to my veins and the pad of feet upon the stairs snaps me out of my introspection and into the routine of the day.
“the Maples want more sunlight.”