The same joker that put razor blades in my throat is now pounding the hell out of my forehead and my tongue looks like I’m back to smoking 20 a day. Another viral infection, ah the joys of being a school run dad.
I don’t think this post is going to get any more inspirational.
I’m fed up of being ill, actually I’m fed up of using illness as an excuse for not going out for a run, I haven’t run since the 5 Tors race.
I’m sad because I had to make a decision to end a life that I had shared for 14 years and I wasn’t ready to.
I’m disappointed that I’ve used any little excuse to give up and sit on the sofa and watch tv.
This happens, it’s the ebb and flow.
This is the monster of doubt and self loathing, I have to choose to fight it or capitulate.
It is 2 o’clock in the morning.
Tomorrow is a new day, time to shake off the fugue state and fight the monster.
“The yellow jester does not play
But gently pulls the strings
And smiles as the puppets dance
In the court of the crimson king.”